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As they grow

Lucas is a few months over 3 and caught in between two worlds; the world of independence and the world of needing Mommy and Daddy to do everything. The poor kid is floundering. Many days, this unbalanced state comes out in fits of frustration and a pouty lip. He can't seem to decide if he wants to be a "big boy" or not.

This predicament put us in a state of peril regarding potty training last week. After a couple weeks of smooth sailing (at least with number 1), we put the pressure on and started pushing Lucas to put number 2 in the potty. You probably already know what happened right? Mr. independent decided that he wouldn't go at all and found himself in a rather uncomfortable situation. I won't go into the details of what happened, but let's just say that prune juice was involved. We've decided to stick with pull-ups for a while.

I know that having a baby sister doesn't help Lucas in his quest for independence. Soon after Ava was born, Lucas's ablilty to dress himself suddenly vanished. We're working on getting that back.

Today I brought out some scissors Santa left L in his stocking; Lucas is still trying to master this skill and kept getting frustrated. I must have heard "I can't do it" at least 10 times during our cutting/gluing craft time. Now, let me be straight up here, there are days when my patience is zapped and I grab up L's scissors after the second complaint and say, "then we're not going to do this anymore!". But today, God gave me a little more control and I spent a few extra mintues showing Lucas how to work his hands to get a clean cut. A little extra encouragement and we made a great construction paper project.

He's been getting frustrated so quickly lately and sometimes I don't handle that well. Having Kathryn stay with us for a few days helped so much because I watched her handle Lucas's strong emotions with her quiet and loving tone. Because parenting is a 24/7 job, it is so easy to get stuck in a rut, always saying "no" instead of finding creative ways to say no that won't dampen your child's spirit. What a gift to get to step back and see from a different perspective instead of trying to deal while the baby's crying, dinner's burning, I need to shower, and my preschooler wants to play trains, again.

I know that each stage in a child's development has joys and pain. I want so much for my little boy to be confident and independent while still needing a warm hug and loving encouragment from his Mommy. And he's on his way.

I read a great quote from Karen Kingbury a while back that I like to think on every once in a while, but not for too long because it's so bittersweet:
"A mother knows she's done a great job when she has an empty nest and a full heart."

That's my hope, my prayer when it comes to being Mommy for my sweet Lucas and Ava.

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