I have just completed my usual ritual of reading Meg's blog. As always I am inspired. Tal Bachman is playing on my computer stereo as I try to capture the events of my past week in an interesting, and concise manner. Sometimes I wonder if i'm writing for my own sake more than for any one else. I started this blog with the purpose of keeping long distant family and friends informed of the 9 month journey Matt and I are on. However, I can't help wanting this blog to be so much more. More than preggie facts and occasional pictures. I want it to be a reflection of me. A glimpse into the very part of me that I so often feel most comfortable keeping under wraps. My heart. And so I'm going to make the effort to open up more. To be real. Taking a deep breath......
Just a couple weeks ago, God worked on my heart in a powerful way. You see, I have always struggled with feeling insignificant. That I'm not quite good enough to matter to anyone. My prayer for so long was that I would one day become the woman that God created me to be. A goal that seemed so far off. But one day this fact hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm already that woman. I don't have to strive. I don't have to constantly be tweaking, sculpting myself in order to matter to God. Of course, I'm not perfect. Matt knows that. And I still have so much to learn. But I realize now that I am significant simply because He makes me significant. I am beautiful because His heart is inside of me. I am playing an important role in my simple, ordinary life simply because I am His child. Wow. What freedom was found when I began to let God reveal his Grace to me. A relationship with Christ isn't about earning His affection, His attention by becoming something great. It's about receiving the affection and attention in our current, pitiful state, and in turn, falling in love with Him. Now that is beautiful.
By the way, my glucose test came back perfect. No gestational diabetes. :) Please keep me in your prayers though. I am experiencing several symptoms of pre-ecclampsia (sudden swelling, severe headaches, rapid weight gain) but (praise God) my blood pressure is perfect. Dr Duniho isn't concerned yet. Pray that he won't have a reason to become concerned. Thanks.
Sara
Just a couple weeks ago, God worked on my heart in a powerful way. You see, I have always struggled with feeling insignificant. That I'm not quite good enough to matter to anyone. My prayer for so long was that I would one day become the woman that God created me to be. A goal that seemed so far off. But one day this fact hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm already that woman. I don't have to strive. I don't have to constantly be tweaking, sculpting myself in order to matter to God. Of course, I'm not perfect. Matt knows that. And I still have so much to learn. But I realize now that I am significant simply because He makes me significant. I am beautiful because His heart is inside of me. I am playing an important role in my simple, ordinary life simply because I am His child. Wow. What freedom was found when I began to let God reveal his Grace to me. A relationship with Christ isn't about earning His affection, His attention by becoming something great. It's about receiving the affection and attention in our current, pitiful state, and in turn, falling in love with Him. Now that is beautiful.
By the way, my glucose test came back perfect. No gestational diabetes. :) Please keep me in your prayers though. I am experiencing several symptoms of pre-ecclampsia (sudden swelling, severe headaches, rapid weight gain) but (praise God) my blood pressure is perfect. Dr Duniho isn't concerned yet. Pray that he won't have a reason to become concerned. Thanks.
Sara
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