To Cry or Not to Cry

It is so painful for me to hear Lucas cry. Sometimes, I manage to tune it out, gritting my teeth, desperate to distract myself with a book or conversation. Other times I laugh as I gently remind Lucas that there is no need to cry like the world is about to end. But for some reason, when we put Lucas in his crib for either a nap or for bed time, hearing him cry becomes painful. A war begins to take place in my mind; do I go back in there and try to soothe him or should I let him cry it out? How long do I let him cry? Shouldn't I put his pacifier back in his mouth? B.B. (before baby) I would have staunchly said, "let him cry it out". But now four months in, Matt and I strive to find the balance of self-soothing and enabling. We never rock him to sleep and always put him in the crib awake. We even strive hard to not pick him back up once he is put down, unless it is the following morning, of course. Lucas is crying in his crib right now, by the way. He didn't get his usual morning nap, so he is especially tired. Unfortunately that doesn't gurantee an extra long afternoon nap. It truly is a strange phenomenon that the more tired a child is, the more wound up he becomes. His doctor would tell me to let him cry, all night, if that is what it takes. His Grandmothers would say the opposite as they are quick to respond to the smallest of whimpers. And I resign myself with the reality that no matter how painful it is for me to hear, a little lesson in self-soothing can go a long way come toddlerhood. Besides crying never once hurt a baby. But it won't spoil him either if I sneak in and give him his pacifier, just once... or twice.