Tonight I am too wired up from consuming a large amount of Milk Duds and diet (caffeine free) Coke to go to bed. So instead, I want to share an entry from my journal that I wrote back in June. Too often lately I have been so focused on the negative and I forget to dwell in the good. This journal entry is a nice reminder of just how blessed I truly am and where my blessings come from.
*June 2010*
As an early birthday present, I was given an outdoor covered swing. Tonight is my first night to enjoy my gift.
It's funny how I came outside to be quiet - to be alone - something I rarely experience in my daily life. But as my mind and body settle into the comforts of the swing, my ears are totally aware that I am far from being alone.
Squirrels are in the trees above me. Birds are calling all around. Horns are honking in the distance and the voice of our precious daughter is calling "Mommy!" from the screen door. No I am not alone.
Our tiny son has even made his presence known as he settled in with a few rolls and twists that are visible from the outside. Our biggest boy, the one who baffles me with his dual phase of maturity and immaturity, is crying inside the house.
Thankfully I have full confidence in my husband to handle the situation.
Yes, there is calm tonight. Peace in my heart. Joy in my soul. Such a wonderful change from the boredom and restlessness I've struggled against. I am confidant that this new found peace stems from knowing that I am exactly where God wants me, and I am doing what He expects of me - ministering to my family. Serving them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And that is enough.
I may not be a "missionary" or working for a church ministry, but I am making a difference for the Kingdom of God in the lives of 4 very special people. The work that has been assigned to me is noble and important. I didn't understand or believe this truth for a very long time. I wrestled with feeling like a failure because I haven't served in a foreign land or worked in an "official" ministry position. I thought the Lord was disappointed in me.
I didn't understand that my calling in life really, truly isn't about me at all. It's about Him. And bringing Him glory in whatever season or position He desires for me.
Yes this position is a lot more humble and way less glamorous that I had ever expected, but I am happy.
*June 2010*
As an early birthday present, I was given an outdoor covered swing. Tonight is my first night to enjoy my gift.
It's funny how I came outside to be quiet - to be alone - something I rarely experience in my daily life. But as my mind and body settle into the comforts of the swing, my ears are totally aware that I am far from being alone.
Squirrels are in the trees above me. Birds are calling all around. Horns are honking in the distance and the voice of our precious daughter is calling "Mommy!" from the screen door. No I am not alone.
Our tiny son has even made his presence known as he settled in with a few rolls and twists that are visible from the outside. Our biggest boy, the one who baffles me with his dual phase of maturity and immaturity, is crying inside the house.
Thankfully I have full confidence in my husband to handle the situation.
Yes, there is calm tonight. Peace in my heart. Joy in my soul. Such a wonderful change from the boredom and restlessness I've struggled against. I am confidant that this new found peace stems from knowing that I am exactly where God wants me, and I am doing what He expects of me - ministering to my family. Serving them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And that is enough.
I may not be a "missionary" or working for a church ministry, but I am making a difference for the Kingdom of God in the lives of 4 very special people. The work that has been assigned to me is noble and important. I didn't understand or believe this truth for a very long time. I wrestled with feeling like a failure because I haven't served in a foreign land or worked in an "official" ministry position. I thought the Lord was disappointed in me.
I didn't understand that my calling in life really, truly isn't about me at all. It's about Him. And bringing Him glory in whatever season or position He desires for me.
Yes this position is a lot more humble and way less glamorous that I had ever expected, but I am happy.
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