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A quiet morning of reflection

I'm in the middle of reading the famous "Baxter" books by Karen Kingsbury. This is at least the third time I've read them. I love the new things I notice each time I read one. The stories in these books are so real and personable. I was particularly touched by the last book, Reunion, which tackled the subject of losing a parent.

The anniversary of my Daddy's death is coming up this January. Since my Daddy died six months before Matt and I got married, I feel such sadness when I think about all we've missed not having him here. I like to think back over the past almost 7 years and imagine him as a part of those memories. Walking me down the aisle, praying for me as I endured the heartache of endometriosis, welcoming his first grandchild, encouraging Matt as he started his business, praying for us during the difficult times, cherishing little Ava, and overall being a constant source of love in our lives.

But the lesson I learned from the book Reunion is that we can't waste our energy feeling sad or angry over the times we won't share with the people we love. Instead, we should focus our thoughts on remembering the time we did have together. What a shift in perspective! And a freeing one too!

I only had 20 years with my Daddy, but what a gift those 20 years are! I will never be able to answer the "why?" question that is in my heart, but I can relish the wonderful memories I hold of my Daddy.

This morning I am captivated by memories from high school. We often found Daddy sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, reading the paper or talking with Momma while she cooked dinner. I breezed in and out of the house, busy with the busy-ness of being a teenager. After hugging Mom goodbye, I would stop and give Daddy a brief kiss on the cheek and tell him that I loved him. Didn't matter if I was just running up to Wal-mart for a bit, our family always left with an "I love you".

I'd give anything to kiss him on the cheek one more time.

And I will one day. One day we will be reunited in Heaven. I am confidant of that. Not because of anything we've done, but because of our belief in a Savior named Jesus and what He did for us. My brain can't wrap itself around the concept of Heaven, but I know my Jesus has made a way for me to be there and I know my Daddy will be there waiting for me.

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