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news and thoughts

First, I have to tell you our exciting news! Baby number 3 is on the way! He/she's been turning my world upside down for 12 weeks now! #3 is due in August - yes, I know how hot it is, and no, I wouldn't wish any woman to go thru the hot summer in the South 9 months pregnant! But apparently, this is our time of year to birth babies!

I appreciate all of you who still faithfully check back to see if I'm ever going to update my blog again! Below are my thoughts about it:

This blog has been such a learning process for me. A journey of sorts. One that has been exciting at times and other times a chore. It's served as an baby update for family, a journal for my private thoughts, and a sharing opportunity of things that interest me.

But I am uncertain about the future of my blog. I've been struggling for the past year, feeling discontent with my inability to focus the topic of what I'm writing about. I no longer want to write a "baby" blog. While yes, I'm still in the trenches of child-raising, and won't be coming out for quite a while, being a Mom isn't the only thing that defines me. However, my life is centered around being a stay at home mom, so I can't help but write about the daily antics and joys and struggles of being "Mama". It is, of course, a big part of who I am.

Can you see my conflict?

I've questioned my motives for writing the blog. Am I writing because I love to write and this is simply an extension of my gifting, or do I write to increase my readership so that I can feel good about myself?

What do I hope to gain from keeping this blog? What do I hope to offer my readers? Does knowing my readers personally make it easier or harder to be transparent? (answer: much harder.) Is this blog a ministry or simply a pleasant distraction in the middle of a work day?

Is this the end of Alexanderbaby?

I honestly don't know. I don't think it is. I do love to write and get my thoughts out there, no matter if I'm the only one reading them, so I can't imagine not having this outlet.

So I'm taking the time to reevaluate my heart and mind in regards to this online journal. I enjoy reading blogs of people I know and blogs of people I quite possibly will never meet. I find it fascinating that we live in such a connected world that community and friendship and common bonds are built through a computer.

I'm drawn to blogs that touch my heart - topics that speak to the deeper meaning of being a mom, a Christian and a woman. It's those posts that I bookmark to read again later or share with a friend.

So this is me, being transparent, letting you know where I'm at and what's going on in my head. I'm not looking for opinions or suggestions about the direction of this blog because I'm not writing to please other people. This is something I have to figure out on my own.

Comments

Anonymous said…
congratulations! i've been checking in daily since your last post, and i'm glad to know everything is ok. i know you don't want advice and that you aren't writing for other people, but i just wanted to let you know that I love to read your blog, and i find it very inspiring! so whatever you decide, just know that i will miss you if you go!

congratulations again :)

~*mandy*~

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