I just can't resist......

showing off Ava's bloomers! Thanks Aunt Melanie!

Cutest little bottom I've ever seen!

Speaking of bottoms, Ava asked her Daddy to put her on the potty yesterday! Her request caught us off guard, but I recovered quick enough to grab the camera!

Check out my little bookworm! I hope she follows in my footsteps and loves to read too!

news and thoughts

First, I have to tell you our exciting news! Baby number 3 is on the way! He/she's been turning my world upside down for 12 weeks now! #3 is due in August - yes, I know how hot it is, and no, I wouldn't wish any woman to go thru the hot summer in the South 9 months pregnant! But apparently, this is our time of year to birth babies!

I appreciate all of you who still faithfully check back to see if I'm ever going to update my blog again! Below are my thoughts about it:

This blog has been such a learning process for me. A journey of sorts. One that has been exciting at times and other times a chore. It's served as an baby update for family, a journal for my private thoughts, and a sharing opportunity of things that interest me.

But I am uncertain about the future of my blog. I've been struggling for the past year, feeling discontent with my inability to focus the topic of what I'm writing about. I no longer want to write a "baby" blog. While yes, I'm still in the trenches of child-raising, and won't be coming out for quite a while, being a Mom isn't the only thing that defines me. However, my life is centered around being a stay at home mom, so I can't help but write about the daily antics and joys and struggles of being "Mama". It is, of course, a big part of who I am.

Can you see my conflict?

I've questioned my motives for writing the blog. Am I writing because I love to write and this is simply an extension of my gifting, or do I write to increase my readership so that I can feel good about myself?

What do I hope to gain from keeping this blog? What do I hope to offer my readers? Does knowing my readers personally make it easier or harder to be transparent? (answer: much harder.) Is this blog a ministry or simply a pleasant distraction in the middle of a work day?

Is this the end of Alexanderbaby?

I honestly don't know. I don't think it is. I do love to write and get my thoughts out there, no matter if I'm the only one reading them, so I can't imagine not having this outlet.

So I'm taking the time to reevaluate my heart and mind in regards to this online journal. I enjoy reading blogs of people I know and blogs of people I quite possibly will never meet. I find it fascinating that we live in such a connected world that community and friendship and common bonds are built through a computer.

I'm drawn to blogs that touch my heart - topics that speak to the deeper meaning of being a mom, a Christian and a woman. It's those posts that I bookmark to read again later or share with a friend.

So this is me, being transparent, letting you know where I'm at and what's going on in my head. I'm not looking for opinions or suggestions about the direction of this blog because I'm not writing to please other people. This is something I have to figure out on my own.

A new recipe

Since I cook most nights of the week, I'm always looking for yummy and easy meals to put together for my family. I love to watch cooking shows and read magazines, such as Cooking Light, but I most typically find my recipes online. However, tonight I tried a new recipe from January's Cooking Light and it was a hit with the entire family!

Fettuccine Alfredo with Bacon

1 (9oz) package refrigerated fresh fettuccine**I think it was worth the extra $ to buy fresh, but it's up to you
2 slices bacon
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 cup 1% low fat milk
2/3 cup grated Parmigiano-reggiano Cheese **I used the stuff in the green can
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons chopped fresh parsley ** I used dried
1/2 teaspoon black pepper

Cook pasta according to package directions, omitting salt and fat. Drain in a colander over a bowl, reserving a 1/4 cup cooking liquid.

While pasta cooks, cook bacon over medium high heat until crisp, stirring occasionally. Remove bacon from pan, reserving drippings. Add garlic to drippings in pan ** make sure your grease isn't too hot or your garlic will burn, as I learned the hard way**; saute 1 minute, stirring constantly. Sprinkle four over garlic; cook 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Gradually add milk, stirring constantly; cook 2 minutes or until bubbly and slightly thick, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to low. Gradually add cheese, stirring until cheese melts. Stir in salt and reserved 1/4 cup of cooking liquid. Add hot pasta to pan; toss well to combine. Sprinkle with bacon, parsley and pepper. Yields 4 servings.

I think you're family will love this dish as much as we did. It took me about 25 minutes to make and I had two little ones underfoot begging for food. (probably the reason why I burned the garlic!)

Ava Grace

Ava Grace turned 17 months just a few days ago. Can you believe it? Here's a little update on the busy life of Miss A.

Language. It's exploding! Ava understands everything we say and we understand just about everything she's trying to say. Through words, gestures and facial expressions, Ava has learned to express her opinion! She always copying us, whether it's calling "Annie! Annie!" and clapping her hands when the dog is outside or saying "A-ba! A-ba!" in a deep growl like her big brother. She says "tank -u" when you hand her something, "I want milk" when she wants her milk, "I want nack or yummy" when she wants to eat. Ava has learned the word "No" and definitely knows how to use it!

She's so adaptable, eager to be a part of anything that's going on, and really silly. This girl loves to dance and clap her hands to the beat. Ava finds joy in running away when she knows I'm calling her (especially for a diaper change) and adores taking baths with her brother. He's so patient with her as she tries to wash his hair!

As you can see, our world is brighter with Ava in our lives!

Close to the Father

We went out of town to visit my family for Christmas. The kids loved being with their cousins and we loved being with family. It was truly a special time.

But Ava had a few hard nights after we got back. For whatever reason, she keeps waking up around 10:00 and crying. Both Matt and I took turns consoling her, but with little success. One night, I was already in bed (I'm an early sleeper now), so Matt finally brought Ava into our room and put her in bed with me. The little girl was so surprised she didn't know what to do. (We are anti-family-bed people.) She laid her head on my chest so tenderly and calmed down immediately. Another moment of countless moments that I will treasure in my heart.

After snuggling for 10 minutes, I gingerly carried Ava into her room and put her to bed. The Lord quietly spoke to my heart in that moment. All Ava needed was to be near me to calm down. She found peace being with me.

How often do I find myself consumed with worry or fear, distracted by the littlest annoyances or frustrations? I start wringing my hands while irrational thoughts steal any sense of peace. Life is hard; that's part of being a grownup, right? But we don't have to face these trials and difficulties alone.

All we need to do is stay near the Father.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world"
John 16:33

"Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts by troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27

This week

We went to see a Christmas light show here in town this week. Both of the kids were pretty amazed. Lucas, my ever practical boy, wasn't too impressed with my enthusiasm. "Look buddy at the reindeer!" "Mama, that's not a real reindeer. It's only lights!"

Lucas had asked me last week if he could see Santa again because he "needed to tell him one more thing!" So after we drove through the lights, we went into Santa's workshop so Lucas could tell him about a pirate ship he really wants. As kids can be, Lucas was more excited about the balloon sword an elf made him, then sitting with Santa. Ava wanted no part in Mr. Claus, so the man in red asked Matt to hold Ava and sit on his lap. Matt was really caught off guard by the request! It was too funny to watch!

Last night the kids dressed up and we went to a family Christmas party. I tried to get them to pose by the tree before we left, but as you can see Ava was not impressed by my efforts one bit.
Apparently she wanted to sit on the fireplace to have her picture made. We stopped at Wal-mart on the way to the party to buy Ava black shoes. She looked like a princess in her Christmas dress. I will always treasure the sight of her sashaying around in her dress, waving at everyone as she walked by them. She charmed the whole room.

Our Tree is finally up!

Baby girl asked to sit on the piano bench by herself and play for us! She's growing so fast!

The kids are fascinated by the Christmas tree. So far, only two ornaments have broken and I am responsible for both! Clumsy me!

Getting them both to smile normally for the camera is getting harder and harder!

I always wear my snazzy apron when we have company! Makes me feel like a 1950s housewife!

Here comes Santa Claus....

Sing with me, "Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus right down Santa Claus lane..."

It's been in my head all night! Last night, we made an improptu decision to attend the tree lighting service downtown. I say it was impromptu because we rushed on to arrive 1 minute after the tree was lit. Suddenly, we're walking up a side street, when two fire trucks come racing by. Knowing "the man in red" would be on board, Lucas and I took of running, giggling like two school girls, just to catch a glimpse.

The crowd was waiting in anticpation, children (and me) jumping up and down with glee. But just as quickly as they came, the fire trucks left. No Santa!

We were thoroughly confused. So we decided to have our picture made by some nice lady.

Do you like my red coat? I do. I feel rather glamorous when I wear it.

We waited for what felt like forever, when we heard the fire trucks coming down the road again. This time, we were not disappointed!

We rushed across the street and found the line to see Santa. I've been anticipating this event all Christmas season!
We had fun while we waited in line. The Hanna Jaz band played some (loud) entertaining music behind us. Lucas was much more patient then I had expected. And a lot more serious. Finally it was our turn!
I wasn't supposed to be in the photo, but Ava started crying the minute she realized she was expected to sit on some weird dude's lap. As you can see by Lucas's face, he was taking this very seriously. Here's how his conversation went:

"What do you want for Christmas, little buddy?"

"A umbrella and racetrack."

"Anything else?"
"No. Just a umbrella and racetrack"
"What else do you want?"
"Just a umbrella and racetrack."
*baffled Santa*

"Well, don't be surprised if I bring you a few extra things. I did that last year and you loved it!"
*way to ad lib, Santa!*

So on this fine Saturday morning, after I make some waffles and enjoy my pumpkin pie flavored coffee, I will be making a trip to the toy store to pick up a racetrack and umbrella and returning a few good-intentioned presents.

Learning

Remember a while back ago when I was so excited about the new chore chart I was trying out with the Lucas? Well, the excitement wore off pretty quickly for the both of us. Lucas was not motivated by the stickers or rewards and I felt like the chart took away from my passion to teach my children biblical principles. The chart was forgotten by the both of us during the second week and I finally tossed it out this week.

Amazingly, Lucas is still and even more willing to help around the house. This morning I asked him to water the dog before we left for school,which he did without a question or complaint. Here's what I realized this morning; I feel pretty passionate about the idea of modeling and teaching the concept of biblical servanthood. I want our children to understand what it means to help and serve the people around them without personal gain. I want this to come naturally for them one day, so that means, I need to invest my time and energy in them today.

Lucas and I had three years of Mommy and me time. Since Ava has come along, she's learned to go with the flow and jump right into the action. However, now that Lucas is in preschool 5 mornings a week, Ava and I are finding that special together time that we both crave. Some mornings, we run errands together. Other days, a little friend comes over for me to watch and Ava to play with. And other days, like today when it's too yucky to run to the grocery store, Ava follows me around the house, watching me serve our family by making beds, doing laundry and cleaning.

And she loves to help. Whether it's putting the dirty clothes into the laundry basket (and then sometimes taking a ride on that same basket) or pulling the clean clothes out of the dryer, Ava is always beside me, eager to partcipate. I know this behavior is a part of her development stage, but I also believe that she is finding joy in being Mommy's helper. Lucas used to do the same thing at this age.

Ava especially loves her job of unloading the clean silverware from the dishwasher. I quickly remove the knives before eager hands get cut, then she gets started, eager and determined to help.

We also teach this concept of serving by expecting Lucas to pick up his dirty clothes and put them in his laundry basket, taking his dirty dishes to the sink after a meal and saying thank you, and putting his toys away after playing with them. All of these actions communicate respect and a grateful heart, which Lucas and I talk about a lot. Of course, we still have to prompt him most of the time, but I can see the habits forming.

In a culture that is so "me" focused, let's put in the effort to remind our children that life really isn't all about them. Children are such an important part of a family, but they share in the responsibility of that family. What a difference it would make if all children learned that respect for others is way more important than esteeming themselves.

"Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."
Mark 9:34-36

our little cuties

They looked so cute this morning, I had to snap a picture before school! Notice the hair bow on Ava - she finally has enough hair to wear the bows I ordered over 2 years ago!

Captain Hook and Peter Pan showed up for dinner last night!

Funny girl. For three days Ava kept crossing her two fingers at the oddest times. Matt thought she was making a gang symbol.

A quiet morning of reflection

I'm in the middle of reading the famous "Baxter" books by Karen Kingsbury. This is at least the third time I've read them. I love the new things I notice each time I read one. The stories in these books are so real and personable. I was particularly touched by the last book, Reunion, which tackled the subject of losing a parent.

The anniversary of my Daddy's death is coming up this January. Since my Daddy died six months before Matt and I got married, I feel such sadness when I think about all we've missed not having him here. I like to think back over the past almost 7 years and imagine him as a part of those memories. Walking me down the aisle, praying for me as I endured the heartache of endometriosis, welcoming his first grandchild, encouraging Matt as he started his business, praying for us during the difficult times, cherishing little Ava, and overall being a constant source of love in our lives.

But the lesson I learned from the book Reunion is that we can't waste our energy feeling sad or angry over the times we won't share with the people we love. Instead, we should focus our thoughts on remembering the time we did have together. What a shift in perspective! And a freeing one too!

I only had 20 years with my Daddy, but what a gift those 20 years are! I will never be able to answer the "why?" question that is in my heart, but I can relish the wonderful memories I hold of my Daddy.

This morning I am captivated by memories from high school. We often found Daddy sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, reading the paper or talking with Momma while she cooked dinner. I breezed in and out of the house, busy with the busy-ness of being a teenager. After hugging Mom goodbye, I would stop and give Daddy a brief kiss on the cheek and tell him that I loved him. Didn't matter if I was just running up to Wal-mart for a bit, our family always left with an "I love you".

I'd give anything to kiss him on the cheek one more time.

And I will one day. One day we will be reunited in Heaven. I am confidant of that. Not because of anything we've done, but because of our belief in a Savior named Jesus and what He did for us. My brain can't wrap itself around the concept of Heaven, but I know my Jesus has made a way for me to be there and I know my Daddy will be there waiting for me.

I read some verses a few days ago that I think are very fitting in light of the holiday season. And I want to share them with you!

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all the wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."
--- Colossians 3:15-17

Happy Turkey Day!

I don't have time this morning to play catch-up, but I will ask for your prayers. I'm headed out in about 15 minutes to go to an interview. My first in 5 years! I'm hoping to become a substitute teacher at Lucas's preschool! The Lord has truly made this possible, and He is clearly leading me down this path, so I feel pretty confidant going into the interview! November has been a very challenging month, but has also been a month of great hope and growth. I am constantly being reminded that His ways are not our ways and that He has a plan for me. And I can trust Him.

So please pray! I'll let you know how it goes!
love!

Fun Day

Peter Pan and Miss Lovebug

Here are some photos from our exciting night of trick-or-treating. Lucas asked me 3 weeks before Halloween if he could be Peter Pan. His class had watched the disney classic on a rainy day at school. I loved the idea, but I did not want to invest any money into it. Sorry, but I'm cheap and especially when it comes to an outfit only worn once or twice. So with frugality in mind, I put his costume together for only $3.50! Thanks to Aunt Amy, Ava dressed up as a Lovebug and looked quite adorable! After walking a friend's neighborhood, we ended up at Matt's parent's house where Lucas got to pass out candy to kids who came to the door. He loved that!

Fall

I am so inspired by the scene outside my window. Leaves in an array of colors have blanketed our lawn, courtyard and cars. We hear their crunch as we play outside (which we've been doing a lot more of!) and we've marveled as the leaves seemingly float off their branches as we lay under the Oaks. It is truly a breathtaking season.

But, as you know, this season is simply the intro before a season of dark grays are ushered in. Winter can be so harsh on the soul. As much as the crispness in the air energizes me, I am never too distracted to forget the possibility of a melancholy season ahead. In early January of 2003, my Daddy passed away unexpectedly. January 2004, Matt and I embarked on our long and painful journey with endometriosis. In fall/winter of 2005, I was rejoicing over the tiny infant in my arms, while at the same time wrestling with the tangles of post-partum depression. The short days of light and the gray skies have a way of reminding us of our vulnerability.

But take heart.

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except for our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give your shield of victory and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."
Psalm 18:30-36

So much Hope. So much Love. So much Peace.

Our Lord knows exactly where you are; in fact, He probably put you there. So take heart.

The Faces of Ava

Can you see why I can't get enough of this girl? Oh my, she's a cutie!

Candy Overload

Check out the loot we scored last night! It pays off to have a baby old enough to "trick-or treat' but not old enough to eat the candy! :)

Granted, my marshmallow belly says otherwise.

Payless Coupon

If you haven't made it to Payless today, you should drop what you're doing, click on this link for a 50% off coupon, and drive to your nearest Payless Shoe Source. Prepare yourself for no available parking spaces and a long line, but as you can see in the photo above, it is totally worth it!

Three pairs of shoes for $25! Now, that's what I call savings!

The coupon is for today only!

Have fun!

Are You Awake, Mommy?

The past two nights, Lucas has woken me up, several times, for the most seemingly random conversations. The first time, I woke up to a couple pats on my arm and the face of my sweet Lucas hovering nearby. "I'm scared, Mommy," he said. "My room is too dark".

I stumbled out of bed, bleary eyed and drowsy to find a nightlight; after all, Mommy can fix any problem. Once the soft glow calmed Lucas fears and I had him tucked safely back in bed, I reminded him that when he is scared, he can pray to Jesus, who always hears him. Lucas then asked me where Jesus lives. Then he said, "Why did Jesus have to die on a cross?" I did my best, at 3:30 in the morning, to explain our need for salvation in a way his 4 year old mind could understand. Lucas then asked me if we will die one day, to which I replied, yes. Lucas had a look of fear in his eyes, and then said, "but we won't be together anymore". I was touched by his love for our family. Again, I told him that because Daddy and I believe in Jesus and have accepted his gift of salvation, we will go to heaven when we die and I pray that one day Lucas and Ava will accept His gift.

Lucas seemed okay with my answer. I was rather shocked by this deep, random conversation. I didn't know what to expect next, when Lucas looked at me and said "Do you think God has a really big lollipop?"

I kissed him goodnight and went back to bed marveling at the amazing conversation we just shared.

Last night, I was woken up at 12:47, 3:31, and 6:44. Each time, Lucas asked me to find his stuffed kitty cat. The first time, I walked through the house looking for the beloved animal. The second time, I told Lucas I couldn't find it and the third wake up call, I told him to go find his Daddy.

As much as I'm enjoying this interesting and endearing time with Lucas, I really hope he lets me sleep tonight!

Banana Bread Fail

I guess I didn't cook it long enough.

The week has been full of fun and family! My Mom, sister Melanie and her baby Anna came for a visit! We had a great time taking the kids to the Fall Festival at Lucas's preschool! Friday we were a part of a baby shower for dear friends, Ben and Skye.

I am still trying to get myself back on track after being sick a couple weeks ago. I'm struggling to get my thoughts into words and onto paper, or the blog. So instead, I will bombard you with photos of the busy-ness of our lives the past couple weeks. It's been wonderful to be so busy!

Over the weekend, we attended a birthday party for a girl in Lucas's preschool class. The party was at Callaham's Orchard - a wonderful, family owned place in Belton, SC. Great place to visit!

Dinner Tonight

On this cool, rainy fall afternoon, I'm craving something warm and savory for dinner. So tonight we're having Chicken soft tacos!

This super easy and yummy recipe comes from my friend Kathryn. Thanks girl!

Chicken Tacos:
Chicken (I'm using 1.25lbs of chicken tenders still frozen!)
1 Packet Taco Seasoning Mix
1 Cup Water
1 Can Chopped Green Chilies

Throw chicken in your crock pot. Don't worry about thawing it if frozen! Mix together taco seasoning and water. Pour over chicken. Pour in can of chilies. (These are not spicy) and stir to mix. Cook on low for 6 hours.

Serve in taco shells (soft or hard) with all the fixin's!

We're having yellow rice with corn on the side!

Silly Girl

Being sick can't stop the silliness.

Miss Piggy

Ava has the swine flu. Please pray for us.

Oh Boy

Proof that a 4 year old boy lives in our house.

Busy

That is the word to describe this week at our house. So instead of taking time to write a blog post, I'm going to direct you to a short video by a great pastor that I believe will make you think.

It fits right in with what Matt and I've been talking about a lot for the past few months: holiness.

So check it out and tell me what you think.

How do you like them apples?

Our impromptu trip to the apple orchard today in Mountain Rest, SC started with Lucas and preschool. Several weeks ago, Lucas came home from preschool begging me to take him apple picking. The theme for that particular week in his class was apples, so they made apple sauce, created apple stamps and apparently talked a lot about apple picking. I brushed him off with some lame excuse about apple orchards being too far away, but my ever-clever little boy was too smart for me when he suggested that we plant an apple tree in our yard instead -so we wouldn't have to travel far at all. He talked about that idea for at least a week.

Sometimes I have to be reminded that he's four, and I can't distract him as easily as before.


But fate was on Lucas's side when Matt came home with a bag of "magical mountain" apples from his racquetball partner, Rose. Okay, I'm only kidding about the fate part, and no, the apples did not contain a special power, except for their exceptional taste. Matt was so enthusiastic about these particular apples, we spent the evening discussing why grocery store apples are so lame versus these oh-so-delicious-and-crisp-why-can't-I-stop-eating-them-apples. Multiple apple consumption later, we decided a visit to this apple promise land was required.
Now, I said our trip was impromptu and that's because while we talked and talked and talked about these apples, we didn't put any forethought into actually putting a trip together, until today. This morning, after stealing a loot of clothes for Ava from yard sales in a local, upscale neighborhood, and then visiting with some friends who dropped by for a bit, we decided that the time had come for us to go!

Two hours later, we arrived to our destination, that is incidentally, only 45 minutes away.

No, our GPS did not fail us. You see, we first had to pack snacks, round up jackets and a missing baby shoe, remind Lucas 18 times to go to the potty before we leave, get gas in the car, check air in the tires, print out directions in case GPS did fail us, and pick up lunch.

Don't you just love how long winded I am today??

Lunch. Well, that's a story in and of itself. A coupon promising half-off prompted us to try a new place in town called Coach and Jo-Jo's. A weird name, but super great food! Bird dogs, sloppy joes, hot dogs and fresh-cut fries are just 4 reasons why you have to go there! We watched them take a large spud, cut into the perfect size fries and cook it. Fresh, I tell ya!

So that is why we arrived at the Bryson Apple Orchard with two very sleepy children (and a slightly cranky Mama). Don't you just love their faces in our "family photo"? Priceless.
The apple picking was a huge success, enjoyed greatly by everyone. Ava entertained herself by emptying our buckets of spoils and delightfully throwing the apples back in. Transferring objects is her favorite activity right now. Along with tackling her brother.
Our wonderful, long, and adventurous day ended with a batch of Momma's Apple Dumplings and an early bedtime for the kids. I'll share the recipe soon! Delightful!

Lucas's First Trip to the Dentist

I'm so proud of our big boy, Lucas! He did great at his first trip to the dentist! He sat through the cleaning, flossing and fluoride just fine! The dentist did not find any cavities!

In the car on the way back home, Lucas informed me that he wanted to throw-up. After a second of panicking, I asked him why he wanted to throw-up. He said the yellow stuff (the fluoride treatment was in a yellow tray) was icky and needed to come out of his body. When I told him to not throw up, he shrugged and said, "I guess I'll have to tee-tee it out".

Who can argue with that logic?

I'm so thankful Lucas had such a positive experience; as we all know, the dentist can be such a stressful place! I was a little surprised at the amount of anxiety I felt as Lucas got his teeth cleaned. Images of past trips to the dentist (painful ones) kept flashing through my mind until I found myself breathing a little faster and tapping my foot on the floor. Thankfully Lucas was too distracted by "Mr. Thirsty" to notice my anxiety.